Be Prepared

[IainB]

Just a warning to everyone - so far in recent times we've had economic disaster, flooding, extended freezes and now a great plume of volcanic ash. This can all only be leading up to one thing - a major Zombie attack.

I strongly advise you all to get yourselves a shotgun, a chainsaw and plently of tinned food. Also put out some cauliflower in the garden. It temorarily confuses the zombies due to it's superficial resemblance to a brain, giving you more time to make your escape.

You have been warned!

[IrishWhiskeyChaser]

I noticed you have forgotten to include a bottle of whisky in your emergency survival kit.

Being armed with your favourite whiskey is a veritable must for any Zombie slayer

[DavidH]

The zombie banks have already succumbed. It may be too late.

I've eaten brain; it's not so bad.

[IainB]

True but I presumed anyone reading this would probably have whiskey already, what with it being the Irish Whiskey Society.

Rest assured that my warning posts with the Irish Chainsaw Shotgun and Canned Food Society (The ICSACFS) will only mention the need to bring whiskey!

[IainB]

The zombie banks have already succumbed. It may be too late.

I've eaten brain; it's not so bad.

Yes I'd forgotten that. It's already started. Time to head for the compound in the hills. It's alright for you guys - you have hair - the Zombies take one look at my skull and they think they're looking at a big boiled egg!

But rest assured I've been preparing for this for a long time. My wife and kids laughed the anti Zombie training I made them do but who's laughing now!

[JohnM]

Just a warning to everyone - so far in recent times we've had economic disaster, flooding, extended freezes and now a great plume of volcanic ash. This can all only be leading up to one thing - a major Zombie attack.

I strongly advise you all to get yourselves a shotgun, a chainsaw and plently of tinned food. Also put out some cauliflower in the garden. It temorarily confuses the zombies due to it's superficial resemblance to a brain, giving you more time to make your escape.

You have been warned!

I don't know - a zombie's life doesn't seem like a bad one. Very few responsibilities anyway. Would it affect my VHI premium?

[John]

Best solution all round is to give them Mad Cow brains - they get something they like and you don't get eaten because your would-be attacker is transformed into a ruminating vegetarian. Win-win situation and no need for hours of clean-up afterwards. Sorted.

[IainB]

Just a warning to everyone - so far in recent times we've had economic disaster, flooding, extended freezes and now a great plume of volcanic ash. This can all only be leading up to one thing - a major Zombie attack.

I strongly advise you all to get yourselves a shotgun, a chainsaw and plently of tinned food. Also put out some cauliflower in the garden. It temorarily confuses the zombies due to it's superficial resemblance to a brain, giving you more time to make your escape.

You have been warned!

I don't know - a zombie's life doesn't seem like a bad one. Very few responsibilities anyway. Would it affect my VHI premium?

I don't know about that one - I'm not sure VHi covers pre existing conditions like being dead already. Also are shotgun and chainsaw wounds covered?

And to follow on from David's point - your mortgage won't go away - it'll just be transferred to one of the Zombie banks!

[IainB]

Best solution all round is to give them Mad Cow brains - they get something they like and you don't get eaten because your would-be attacker is transformed into a ruminating vegetarian. Win-win situation and no need for hours of clean-up afterwards. Sorted.

Good plan. Is there an Irish Mad Cow Society we can talk to? Oh the tempation to slander so many women's organisations here is almost overwhelming. But I will resist!

[John]

It's not all good news though Iain. Mad cow Zombies are known to be very nervous milkers and there is always a temptation for a proportion of the 'non-Mad cow Zombie' population to barricade themselves in until they are sure that the Mad cow Zombies have become placid. Sadly, by so doing, they run out of milk and are forced to approach the Mad cow Zombies for some lactose refreshment. Without the proper training and without sufficiently warm hands, this could end very badly and may cause a large scale reversion to the more direct 'Shotgun/Chainsaw' population management tool.

Please contact the Mad Cow Zombie Milking in Safety Society (MCZMiSS) for more information.

[varizoltan]

i have 2 shotguns, a rifle with a 243 barrel for small Zombies, and a 300 WinMag barrel for big Zombies,
i have hundreds of bottles of whiskey, so i think i am prepared,
but the only thing is, this is all at home, and i can not get a flight becouse of vulcanic cloud all over europe

[IainB]

i have 2 shotguns, a rifle with a 243 barrel for small Zombies, and a 300 WinMag barrel for big Zombies,
i have hundreds of bottles of whiskey, so i think i am prepared,
but the only thing is, this is all at home, and i can not get a flight becouse of vulcanic cloud all over europe

You know I knew the minute I saw you'd posted that you'd have the weaponry we needed. I hadn't thought that it might be in Hungary. Have you also got a chainsaw?

I suppose you could douse them in that Midleton 2004 you don't like and set them on fire. Seems a rather expensive solution though.

[varizoltan]

i have 2 shotguns, a rifle with a 243 barrel for small Zombies, and a 300 WinMag barrel for big Zombies,
i have hundreds of bottles of whiskey, so i think i am prepared,
but the only thing is, this is all at home, and i can not get a flight becouse of vulcanic cloud all over europe

You know I knew the minute I saw you'd posted that you'd have the weaponry we needed. I hadn't thought that it might be in Hungary. Have you also got a chainsaw?

I suppose you could douse them in that Midleton 2004 you don't like and set them on fire. Seems a rather expensive solution though.

no chainsaw, but my consaw with the diamond blade on it will do the trick

[IrishWhiskeyChaser]

Zoltan you may be in trouble but as your close to Iain you maybe okay.

our Hero Iain B

Spotted a ....



... equipped with his side arms and a bottle of redbreast 15yo he locked and loaded.




then all of a sudden there were

but there were too many and he soon ran out of ammo .... oh dear what will our Hero do ?????


He downed his RB 15


and hey presto







The End

[varizoltan]

love that

[varizoltan]

it may be a good idea to join my force with Iain's all right, i suggest to meet you in Leitrim tonight and talk about it

we can protect the Wicklow coast.
John and Dave would yous look after the Dublin coast
Adrien look after the Galway coast

volunteers needed for the rest please to save Ireland from zombies

[IainB]

It's not all good news though Iain. Mad cow Zombies are known to be very nervous milkers and there is always a temptation for a proportion of the 'non-Mad cow Zombie' population to barricade themselves in until they are sure that the Mad cow Zombies have become placid. Sadly, by so doing, they run out of milk and are forced to approach the Mad cow Zombies for some lactose refreshment. Without the proper training and without sufficiently warm hands, this could end very badly and may cause a large scale reversion to the more direct 'Shotgun/Chainsaw' population management tool.

Please contact the Mad Cow Zombie Milking in Safety Society (MCZMiSS) for more information.

My head hurts after reading that! Or maybe there's a zombie chewing on it!

Is the MCZMiSS an Irish society or just a branch of a UK one?

[IainB]

IWC you are a strange man but that was hilarious!

[IainB]

it may be a good idea to join my force with Iain's all right, i suggest to meet you in Leitrim tonight and talk about it

we can protect the Wicklow coast.
John and Dave would yous look after the Dublin coast
Adrien look after the Galway coast

volunteers needed for the rest please to save Ireland from zombies

I think we're getting there on the preparations. We've just got the south and north coast to cover.

At least we don't have to worry about any zombies getting here by plane!

The Leitrim sounds like a good idea - I'm in Dublin for a few pints after work but if I make it to Wicklow at a reasonable hour I'll give you a shout.

[varizoltan]

we should set the Leitrim to be a headquarter for the Irish Volunteer Zombie Protection Coastal Guard Society(IVZPCGS)

there is whiskeys there, close to the sea (20 metres) what else we need

what time suit tonight for the first meeting

[IainB]

Not sure to be honest. I'll knw better when I'm in town.

[IrishWhiskeyChaser]

IWC you are a strange man but that was hilarious!

There is only one word to explain this whole thread ....


... Friday

[varizoltan]

and we are all ready for the pub...

[IainB]

IWC You've hit it on the head.

Still though, REMAIN VIGILANT!!

[IrishWhiskeyChaser]

Having a whiskey superhero alter ego, Viglence is my middle name ?????? or is it whiskey ???? ... ooppss I'm confused now ... need to put on my whiskey super hero out fit to figure this out.